Not to get all philosophical or psychological or anything. BUT, I've been thinking. I frequently hear people saying things like: "I wish my husband would....", "If only I could....like so and so", "Their family is always SO happy, I wish we could be like that", etc. I could go on and on. It's always tempting to wish for something we perceive others to have, isn't it? Whether it's money (I wish we we had more) or kid's behavior (why can't my kids behave like that?), or body image (she has such good genes, she doesn't even have to work out to look that good). From, "Their life is SO much easier than mine" [woe is me] to "I wish I could have that/be like them" [coveting]...is our perception reality? AND, even if our perception IS reality (she really CAN eat whatever she want and still be skinny!), is our attitude justified?
Here are my thoughts. Attitude is everything. Those happy people you see, and think their lives must be perfect for them to be so happy, their lives are NOT perfect and are probably far from perfect. They just choose happiness. That's right, they CHOOSE happiness. Here are a few good examples of the same scenario with three different responses - and believe me at different times, I have probably chosen all three (and more) responses:
Scenario 1: My husband has to work late for the 5th night in a row.
Response 1 - Mope around all night, not being fun for your kids to be around you, with an "it's the end of the world" mentality. That's really making the worst out of the situation isn't it & it sure is a choice. You can't CHANGE the circumstances, but you can certainly change your attitude and make the best of it! Being happy despite your circumstances does NOT mean you wanted the situation to happen. Think of people all over the world who are being truly persecuted for their religion (put in jail, etc) who can STILL praise God in their circumstances & then re-evaluate your own situation.
Response 2 - Immediately post on Facebook that your husband is working late for the 5th night in a row and proceed to explain that it's just something you have to deal with, etc, proving that you really are a martyr. [Don't we all do this at some point?] Why do we NEED recognition for anything, much less something so silly as dealing with life! I'm just being frank here. A true martyr doesn't recognize himself for anything. Let other's recognize you & if they don't, OH WELL! If they do, be gracious. :)
Response 3 - MAKE THE BEST OF THE SITUATION. After the initial shock and disappointment has passed [especially if it is one of those days where you were REALLY counting on your husband to be home on time & don't even have anything planned for dinner because you had agreed to go out for dinner with the family and have nothing in the fridge] and the kids are already outside waiting for daddy to get home when he calls to say he is delayed for several hours. Break the news to the kids & remember, they are learning their attitude from you. So, tell them Daddy won't be home as early as we thought and that we need to figure out something to do without him! Take them for a walk, play a game with them, or take them out to dinner, just the three (or four) of you. Or bring them into the kitchen and figure something out that they can help you with to make for dinner so that they see how to make the best of a situation in action.
Scenario 2: Specific people always seem to get under your skin.
Response 1 - Every time he/she annoys you, vent to your husband about it until the steam stops rising. Go on and on and on and oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon about how "they always say ......." and "I am so sick of....." and, well, you get the idea. Then, call your best friend and vent some more! Bash said annoying person until you "feel better". And, do you really feel better? They are still annoying aren't they? After calling your best friend, get on the computer and e-mail a few more friends about the annoyance and then post a passive aggressive status on facebook saying how you "love it when SOME PEOPLE, no names mentioned do XYZ". How childish is this really? And, when all is said and done, do you feel better about the situation from this response? Has all of this helped the situation in ANY fashion?
Response 2 - [My personal favorite]. Keep your mouth shut. But, steam and steam and steam in your head and in your heart, not saying anything but letting it fester inside, THINKING thoughts like "I hate you I hate you I hate you" or whatever the case may be. Either way, holding it all inside, but still thinking very negative and hurtful thoughts towards said person.
Response 3 - CHANGE your attitude towards said person. And, maybe even pray for them if they really are the problem. :) Sometimes we probably think this option is actually a joke. "HA, you want me to just brush it off and not let it bother me or offend me?" Well, truly, when we are offended (most of the time).....it's our choice to be offended. Forget about it! Really! When annoying person annoys you, say to yourself "there is nothing I can do about what he/she just said, or the way they think. Bummer." And literally, forget about it!!!! Have the attitude that Christ would have. Period.
I'm reading (well, was reading and haven't gotten around to finishing it) a book called "Lord, Change My Attitude....Before It's Too Late". And boy does it hit home. It references so many examples in scripture of how lethal a bad attitude can be. We so often overlook the dangers of a bad attitude (especially a chronic bad attitude) because it's symptoms aren't so visible or tangible. It's not like stealing or anything REALLY bad, but it's almost more deadly because it sneaks it's way in until it's the only way we know.
So the next time you see a happy person, remember that it is their choice to be happy and you have the same choice, no matter what your circumstances are. It's there waiting for you, you just have to CHOOSE it. With a little prayer and a lot of self-discipline & training, you can have happiness. Just because they are smiling, doesn't mean their life is a cake walk.
***Disclaimer**** I am not a writer. I'm just expressing thoughts as I'm learning them myself. And, in no way am I qualified to "preach" or anything like that. I just figure, if I'm struggling with these things and contemplating them, someone else might be too. And, all these things I've written about are not things I myself have mastered!!!!! So, I certainly don't write them from the "I've arrived" standpoint. And, if you really know me, you probably knew that already.
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